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nicolebartko

Reflections on a Month of Searching: Where Do I Fit in This New World?

A Journey of Disappointment and Learning

It’s been a month now since I actively began applying for freelance projects. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions—disappointment, frustration, and moments of questioning whether I still fit into the ever-evolving IT world. While I try to stay positive and hopeful, I want to share some reflections from this experience, staying true to my belief in authenticity.


1. The Silence Is Deafening

One of the hardest parts has been the lack of communication. Calls that were promised but never came, meetings postponed indefinitely, emails and messages left unanswered. I understand that recruitment and hiring can be chaotic, but it leaves applicants in limbo, wondering where they stand. This silence chips away at motivation and confidence, even for someone like me with 13+ years of IT experience.


2. The Misplaced Focus on Certificates Over People

Recently, I had a call that stuck with me. The person told me:"We need people like you—human-centered, focused on improving processes after speaking with the people who actually use them. But you lack the technical expertise in data, and data is what counts."

Ironically, the same company is struggling with employee retention, wondering why people are leaving after introducing new tools and processes. To me, the answer is clear: people leave when they’re not heard or considered. Certificates and tools may speak the same "language," but if we’re not listening to the people behind the data, what progress are we truly making?


3. The Paradox of Junior Roles Requiring Senior Expertise

The job market seems more contradictory than ever. There’s constant talk about a lack of skilled workers, yet I see listings for "Junior Project Managers" requiring 2-3 years of experience, ITIL3/4, PRINCE2, PMI… Is this the new normal? We’re all rushing to collect certifications, but what about actual experience, empathy, and the ability to solve real-world problems?

Digital transformation and daily business cannot coexist without chaos unless we focus on the human element. Processes, tools, and certifications are not enough when people feel stuck, unheard, and overburdened.


4. The Will to Keep Going

Some days, I feel like giving up. It’s hard not to feel like I don’t fit into this world anymore. But I know there are companies out there that value what I bring to the table—years of experience, a human-centered approach, and the belief that people drive transformation, not just tools.

I might not have every certificate under the sun, but I have over 13 years of IT experience and 20 years of working with people. I won’t give up now. There are companies that appreciate the value of both expertise and empathy, and I’m ready to find them.


Final Thoughts: Open for Work

To those who resonate with this, whether you’re an employer, recruiter, or fellow freelancer, let’s connect. I’m open for opportunities where experience, people skills, and a human-centered approach are truly valued. Let’s build solutions that work for both the tools and the people who use them.

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